As the clock ticked toward 5:00pm he sat behind his desk and it was quickly apparent that we were a distraction. A welcomed distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. Papa was turning 80 years old in just a few months and at 5:00pm he would officially be retired. As the family sat across his desk in the last 15 minutes of his working career, he meticulously worked to finish some final tasks and avoided our distraction.
It was a work ethic that was certainly engrained in his roots. Born in the heart of the Great Depression, his childhood was surrounded by the Second World War and the Rocky Mountains as he grew up in the middle of nowhere Montana. But to him the small town of St. Ignatius was the middle of somewhere. Stories of his five siblings sharing a small home with only an outhouse for plumbing made him larger than life.
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| Papa working his last few minutes before retirement in 2015 |
Papa loved his Montana roots and found enjoyment in everything the rugged terrain of Big Sky Country has to offer. But more than anything he saw himself as a cowboy and a coach. This combination moved him throughout small towns in Montana, Wyoming, and Oregon working as a coach, a teacher, doing farm work, bailing hay, and anything else that would help ends meet for his family of four kids. Eventually they settled in his forever home of Southwest Washington in the mid 1970s.
When she was just 19 one of his twin daughters went on a
date with the new high school baseball coach in February. They were married by August. Four years to the day after his daughter went on that first date in February Papa's identity as a cowboy and coach had to make room for his newest title of
grandpa when I was born. From all
indications this was his favorite title of all.
Our family dynamic was different. When we were young we just figured that’s how
it was and everyone else was just like us.
But time has taught me how unique our family
was.
Family gatherings from my childhood were highlights of the year and
something we would look forward to with great excitement the way most look forward to the Super Bowl or a summer vacation week. These family gatherings weren’t exclusively
for someone’s home once a year during the holidays. We got together everywhere and we got together
often. All the way through high school
it was common for us to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
multiple times in a month. Papa was
always at the heart of this and spending this time with his family and
grandkids always brought him so much joy.
Growing up Papa and I spent some time together fishing and
golfing. Many summers the whole family
would road trip with Papa to Montana to visit his siblings and our family tree
of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Great
memories of shooting fireworks, playing video games, and driveway basketball
are archived from these trips of long ago.
But the one constant through all the years for Papa and me has
been baseball. We spent hours of my
childhood in back yards pretending it was Fenway Park as we simulated games
together. There wasn’t a family get
together that didn’t include Papa giving his perspective of the current state
of his beloved Boston Red Sox.
As the years went by it was common to look up in the stands
and see Papa. There were countless times
throughout high school and junior college where ballgames became the perfect
meeting place for our family gatherings.
Aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and at the middle of it was always
Papa.
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| Some of the family gathered and Papa locked in for the state championship game in 2002 |
As the bitter cold of the Northern Indiana winter began to
give way to the warmth of spring in 2006 we had the most special visit during
my senior year at Notre Dame. For the two years I had been there Papa had followed our team diligently through the monitor of his home
computer. This was before live streaming
so live stat casts and box scores were as close as he could get to the action
from his home 2,000 miles away.
The team was in the midst of an eventual school record 23 game
win streak and the campus and city of South Bend were buzzing with excitement
about Irish Baseball. For a few days
Papa, Nani Steph, and Papa’s sister Joyce came to see campus and take in some
games. I will never forget how Papa
glowed as we spent time together.
We toured the beautiful campus. We saw the town. One morning we had breakfast on campus and
the server asked if I was on the team when she saw my ND baseball shirt. I still remember how excited he got when she
noted how well the team was playing. He
was at our games and the team he followed so closely through his computer
screen came to life. It was a great
visit in the sunset of an amazing season and improbable opportunity to play for
the Fighting Irish.
The Boston Red Sox manager, Terry Francona, was
the keynote speaker for our preseason banquet early on in my coaching career at
the University of Virginia in 2008. When we
learned Francona was coming my dad and Papa booked their flights and traveled
from Portland, Oregon all the way to the East Coast for the event.
Before the main banquet started, Francona was
scheduled to speak to our team privately in the locker room. About 45 minutes before his scheduled time
was to begin with the team the Red Sox manager arrived at the ballpark.
I was tasked with entertaining Francona in the lounge of the
old UVa locker room while he waited to address the team. My dad and Papa were also with me waiting to
hear the Red Sox skipper talk to the team in this private setting. For 30 minutes I sat with my dad, Papa, and
the manager of the Boston Red Sox at a table in a room the size of a standard parking space. It was magical.
Francona gracefully told us inside stories about the players, Fenway, and the Major League Home Run Derby. Between stories, Francona asked us questions. Where are you from? What brings you out here? (Uh… YOU brought us out here, Tito!) How’s your family? It had the feeling of one of our frequent family gatherings and Francona was just another uncle who had been with our family for years. Nevermind that he was just months removed from leading the Boston Red Sox to the 2007 World Series title!
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| Touring the Grounds at the University of Virginia in 2008 |
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| Papa, Terry Francona, and Me |
On April 30, 2016 Papa turned 80 years old with a party at Story Field in Longview, Washington. As we played a doubleheader the family celebrated the birthday in the picnic area down the first base line. With ideal weather and a great birthday party, the day was capped off with a sweep in favor of the home team. Our pitchers were dominant and issued just 2 walks the entire doubleheader. The tone was set for attacking the strike zone that day before Game 1 when Papa threw a perfect strike as he threw out the ceremonial first pitch to commemorate his 80th birthday!
The four years I spent coaching at Lower Columbia Junior
College were such incredible years for many reasons. Living just 45 minutes from Papa’s house (and
so close to so many other family members) was the best part about it. It was an era that we got to spend so much
time together as proximity allowed for so many great memories to be made. Once again baseball games had become the
primary meeting ground and Papa was there for many of them.
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| Papa throwing out the ceremonial first pitch on his 80th birthday at Lower Columbia Junior College |
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| Postgame recap after a game at Lower Columbia Junior College in 2016 |
When I moved away from the Northwest again in 2017 the
visits naturally became less frequent.
Baseball continued to be a perfect connection point for me and
Papa. He was always checking in on the
team. At LSU we were shipped to Oregon
for the 2021 NCAA Tournament just two hours from Papa.
The whole weekend was another pseudo family reunion centered
around baseball. Aunts, uncles, parents,
cousins, and of course, Papa were all there to see the Tigers. When Dylan Crews caught a weak liner in right
field to win the Regional Championship I could not help but think of how
ideal the trip had been.
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| Postgame recap after a game at the 2021 Eugene Regional |
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| Another family gathering at a ballpark. NCAA Tournament Eugene Regional 2021 |
That weekend in Eugene also marked the start to my tenure at Utah Valley. The official announcement of the hiring came the day before the NCAA Tournament games started. You would have a hard time finding a bigger fan of Utah Valley Baseball than Robert Owen Blackman Jr. since that day. His connection to this team was as special as ever.
Like clockwork after every game there would be a text with Papa’s
well wishes and analysis. His schedule
revolved around the Utah Valley baseball schedule. Even as he aged in to his upper 80s his knack
and appreciation for technology allowed him to stream our games on his TV better
than I can.
Then in May 2023 Papa and Steph made the trip to Orem to watch us for a 3-game series with New Mexico State. It was that home series baseball people romanticize about all off season where the weather is finally perfect and the team is playing well. We toured together in awe of the Utah Valley campus tucked beneath the Wasatch Mountains which were slowly losing their snow capped peaks as the landscape bloomed with all of the vibrant colors of the heart of spring. Walking through the baseball facilities Papa was so delighted to meet a few players and coaches. He even jogged from third base and touched home plate while on the field.
On Sunday we finished a sweep. It was senior day and Papa enjoyed the wonderful ceremony honoring these players in their last year of eligibility that took place after the game. After the festivities at the field we went to the house. It was Jennifer’s first Mother’s Day and Papa’s first time meeting his great grandchild, Cynthia. We shared some beers and stories on the back porch soaking in the moment and the panoramic view of the mountains. Everything was perfect.
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| Enjoying time with Papa at the Ballpark at Utah Valley |
But as we sat down for dinner Papa wasn’t feeling
right. He decided not to eat. The next day he began his drive back to
Washington but he continued feeling ill.
The summer and fall were littered with episodes and he never felt
right. Numerous visits to doctors trying
to identify the issue always ended with more questions than answers. Periodically the symptoms got so bad it
forced him to the hospital for a short stay.
In early December he left to the hospital on a trip that had
become all too routine. But a few days in
to this hospital stay his condition got worse.
While he was fighting for recovery he shared with his daughter Rochelle that he
wanted to get better so he could watch Utah Valley Baseball the upcoming
spring. He even went as far as to list a
some specific players he couldn’t wait to watch again this season.
His health kept declining.
A couple days after sharing how dearly he wanted to watch our team this
spring we had a Facetime conversation.
We both knew it would be our last.
He told me how good he thought the team would be this spring and if we
weren’t, he was going to blame the coach!
The next morning we landed in Portland and traveled across
the river to see Papa in the hospital.
As we sat in the room his awareness was limited and the morphine left
him nearly completely unresponsive as he had to gasp just to breathe. It was the bittersweet pain of goodbye to a
loved one who was sharp as a tack and surrounded by countless love from family
members until the very end. He passed
away that night.
The average American lives for 76 years. The baseball mind in me should be able to
recognize we got bonus time with Papa. His
WAR was 11 years above the replacement player.
But the weeks since he left have brought an emptiness of trying to
comprehend this world that for the first time in my life doesn’t include this
man. There are reminders of Papa
everywhere. Somewhere in the back of my
mind Riley Green has been on repeat singing I wish Grandpa’s Never Died. I write in search of closure that is needed, and equally dreaded.
The season won’t be the same this spring. After every game I will be waiting for a text
that won’t come. Hopefully the team can
go about their work with the same diligence and pride that Papa did for all
those years right down to the final seconds before his retirement. Hopefully our family can continue to gather
for years to come with the same love and warmth we have shared all of these
years, but it will definitely not be the same without Papa. And hopefully the team will be as good this
spring as Papa believed they would be.
If not, he will be up there ready to blame the coach!
